"All the tattoos that I have are scars"

They're a part of us

I got my first tattoo when I was 18. A freshman in college. Wild-eyed and ready to find myself, I asked a friend (also named Erin) to come with me.

I found the image in one of those magazines full of trinkets and other things you don’t need—dragon figurines and the like. The image is called “Chaos.” I don’t know why the image resonated with me, but the description called to me like my future self knew I would need it.

My Thirty Seconds to Mars Tattoo

My mom doesn’t like tattoos. If I had more money, I’d have more than the six I have now. Tattoos allow us to express ourselves. From the random and weird-to-me-but-amazing-to-you tattoos to the custom pieces to the tribal, they tell a story about who we are.

They’re on our bodies. They become a part of us.

For many, tattoos tell a stories of where they come from. For many, tattoos tell a story of who they are. For many, tattoos are fun and random collections of art.

No matter whether you like tattoos or not, they are forms of expression. They’re adornments on our bodies. They’re ways we give a middle finger to the system that says we must look a certain way.

They’re reminders to keep going.

My Switchfoot tattoo from their song “Dare You to Move”

“All the tattoos I have are scars,” Jon Foreman of Switchfoot sings in their song “Where the Light Shines Through.”

When I have money, I want to cover up my first tattoo. It’s not that I don’t like it anymore. I do.

It reminds me that growth does not come without its challenges and struggles. It’s a reminder that liberating myself from the default dis-empowering thoughts about my body means putting in the work day after day after day. Like a plant breaking through the ground to see the light, loving what I see in the mirror is sometimes a struggle. My mind likes to tell me I’m too fat as though it is a judgment on my worth.

I want to cover it up with my favorite flower: a lotus. The lotus, too, is a symbol of resilience and beauty. It not only pushes its way through dirt but mud.

Knowing that “Chaos” is under the lotus will be a reminder that creation is chaos, and chaos can be beautiful. It’s all in how you see it.